What should I do?

[cat04]

Eric,

While I don’t know if your W is MLC or not…

The A, I can tell you, exposing it, will make you feel good in the short run. But in the long run it could be worse.

If she knows you know, or suspect, that is probably more than enough.

Telling the OM’s S will just create the same pain you are having in someone else. While it may seem unfair to let her “sit in the dark”, it is also unfair to bomb her just because her H doesn’t have the guts to do it. Just my opinion.



Kerry,

Romance based languages—French, English, Italian, Spanish, and probably a few others. All have a basis in Latin. The dead language. Many similarities, many differences but all beautiful languages.

[ericmsant2]

Bworl - Thank you. I know about the slim possibilities. Trust me I know. It is why a part of me feel like trying to salvage a friendship may be the best thing right now. She wants out and she wants out bad but she is somewhat stuck. She is doing everything that she needs to do for her. If I do the same the only message I send is that I am still the same selfish man that I was. This is the delimena that I have. So I guess the question I have to ask myself is should I try and fight or call it a day and move on.

[ericmsant2]

Cat - I guess the question I ask myself is..does the long term really exist. Can this M really be saved. I really question that these days. I have at this for almost 6 months and have seen almost no improvement. Granted I was not doing the right things early on and admit I made it worst in Oct, Nov and Dec. So for three months I have made it worst. The fact that she appears to be really connect with OM is a very tough pill to swallow. Any thought on why she is doing this with a married man? Is that a positive?

[Cadet]

I guess the question I ask myself is..does the long term really exist. Can this M really be saved.

No one know that answer here. And if they do I am sure that MWD will pay them lots of money. Or some other TV show.

I have at this for almost 6 months and have seen almost no improvement.

That is not unusual. Sounds almost "normal" for MLC.
This is not a short term thing. It is not for the faint of heart.Either you are in it for the long haul or not.

Any thought on why she is doing this with a married man? Is that a positive?

Don't know why but it will probably not last.I can't give you a time frame but 97% of these things end poorly (of course thats NOT your point of view)

[cat04]

E--

Check your fb

[*KS*Chick*]

Hola E - I'm new to your sitch and will read through ......... but for now, keep your chin up and focus on you. I'll read more soonish and get back with you. I've also fw info to you re FB.

CHIN UP!

[smith18]

Eric -

I can read that you understand this very well. You are aware of your part in the breakdown of the M. And I like how you have an attitude that even if your M ends in a D, you will still be your childrens dad and be able to carry on with your life.

I like that you have some goals. But those goals are dependent on things she controls. Do you have your own goals that you control?

I have lost 63lb in the process. I can now say I'm a sexy 175

Someone needs to advertise the LBS weight loss plan. I remember the loss of appetite oh so well.

she also said that she has been feeling the way she is feeling for several years but that she wanted to stand by her man

Take some of what she says with a grain of salt. They tend to only remember the bad and forget the good from the past.

[*KS*Chick*]

At this point I think some of my goals are:

1) Have the affair end by April
2) Have her open up about how she feels by May
3) Have her admit to wanting to hold off the D by Jun

I guess Kerry beat me to it.

Great goals, but all focused on your W. Your goals should be about you and what you can control

[ericmsant2]

Thanks Kerry - I'll work on some more goals that center around me. Will post for additional feedback. Right now I do know that I need to Detach and GAL. I've heard that a ton. So what does Eric want. This is the question.

[Jack_Three_Beans]

1) Have the affair end by April
2) Have her open up about how she feels by May
3) Have her admit to wanting to hold off the D by Jun

I'm pretty sure that April has no power to end your W's affair.

joke

Look Eric, those 3 goals...
Those are very big goals...VERY big goals, and very unlikely goals...and uhhh, they are all about her.

Who exactly can you control? There is only one answer to that questions.