Is this piecing?

[Freckle6]

No, you're definitely not overreacting or blowing things out of proportion. That whole cat thing is passive aggressive verbal abuse. Does he ever do stuff like that using your son instead?

Ugh. If he did crap like that on the phone, I'd say to give him a warning that if he talks like that to you again, you'll be hanging up and then do it. But when he's in the house, it's kind of hard to hang up on him... Brandnewday's H was pretty cruel/verbally abusive to her, but that was on the phone because he was on the opposite coast at the time. Have you ever posted on the MLC forum? It might be worth poking your head there for some ideas on setting boundaries without making him escalate. Something has got to give with this though.

It worries me that your little guy is/will be caught in the middle of this or that your H may turn him into the cat confidant. That would be harming your R with your S (because eventually he'd start talking to Mom like she was an unstable idiot too) and be all out war, IMO.

But like I said before, your H isn't likely to be all rainbows and sunshine to you if you tell him to stick it and call off MC and any hope of R either. Because of S you'll have to deal with him anyway so you probably have more influence in taming him under the guise of working things out, even if your goals for that change.

When he starts going off on your "freak-outs" or other things you've changed, just remind yourself that you used to pee and crap your pants too, but (presumably ) you don't do that anymore either so his fixation on those things is as ridiculous as him "teasing" you for that. Just trying to think of things to make his words not hurt you so much while we figure out how to get him to shut the hell up with his spewing.

The frying pan offer still stands?