Sandi, Thank you for the concern. The moment I described was my darkest hour. One of those moments when everything came crashing down all at once and I felt like I was a worthless human being and the world would be a better place without me in it. I know it sounds silly and many will scoff at the thought of it, but unless you have been in that place you will never understand.
I am thinking alot more clearly now and I can actually sleep through the night. I have come to the realization that even though I wasnt the Wally Cleaver of fathers, husbands over the years. I did not do to bad. I put a roof over my families head, I put food on the table and clothes on their backs. I tried to be as loving as I knew how(part of my issue of not knowing how). I never abused, slept around or lost my temper completely with any of them. I wasnt perfect, but I was not a monster. I know it takes more than this to make a marriage work, and I can see that now and I am trying, but if she doesnt want to give me one last chance then it is her that is loosing out on something great. Not me.
Thank you for your continued support and I will continue to keep this updated as often as possible. Not much to say right now as she isnt speaking to me once I divided up our finances and told her no I wasnt going to buy our D21 a new video card so she could sit up in her room and play warcraft all day. Bad news times folks, this is real life and the games end now.
M:40 W:40 D: 21 S: 18 D: 17 Md: 18 years -1/19/2010 W wants out -6/03/10 "Live for today, for tomorrow is promised to no-one.."
