Looking for Advice

[gutwrenching]

Back from a weekend of skiing. Everyone had a great time. As far as my sitch with W, I really think a couple of bricks came down from the wall. Waiting on them to be rebuilt, but so far haven't seen it. The wall is still up and strong don't get me wrong.
Things were friendly all weekend, never cold and distant. I decided to try to reward the good behavior and possibly fill the love tanks a little on the first night when W was complaining of headache. I offered to rub her neck/shoulders and fully expected immediate rejection. But no, serious hesitation as I could tell she was considering. And she gave in and she really relaxed, gave me a friendly goodnight and that was first sign of brick coming down.

Next day W suggests we should try to run 1/2 marathon in June. She tells me a little later she's already researched training programs and such. So this weekend she decides to include me...hmmm....

Second night, wine and hot tub get to W and cause massive headache. I had done nothing, no touches, no compliments, etc all day. So I again offer the neck/shoulder massage...reward another day of good behavior. She doesn't hesitate this time and sits down literally dead smack next to me. Couldn't tell you when the last time that happened was. After a bit I suggest it would work better if she was laying down and she lays down with her head in my lap and within 5 minutes falls asleep that way. Another indication that brick came down. When we got in bed, I massaged just a little more and reached over and gave a goodnight hug this time...no resistance, she curled into me/the hug.

About the only negatives to the weekend were when the family was in the hot tub and the girls had their Barbie dolls and I was given one to play with and W comments oh look daddy has a blonde, a new step mom. That one didn't sit well with me but I wasn't going to say something in front of the kids, so I just ignored it and never brought it up again. That and W is still addicted to iphone and fairly protective of it, but I know there are no calls or TMs with any OM because I have access to online records. Would have to be internet chats...or could be nothing.

W only got into a bad mood once over the weekend and it was almost hard to tell...she wasn't being mean to me, just seemed off. I asked her why she was off and she told me about the bad mood, what caused it, and to be honest, within about 30 minutes of talking about it, she had snapped out of it.

I had a very good and relaxing weekend. In a way, made we a bit sad, because the kids had such a great time, I would love to get it all back.

And it really seemed when it came to being a mother, W had no fog. She was being the mother I remember to the girls.

We are talking about possibly doing it all again over the kids spring break for 3 or 4 days...

That's enough for now, will probably have more thoughts later