Is this piecing?

[Freckle6]

I think you're a saint for tolerating even 1% of what you have. Really! If this were any other site, I'd probably have completely different advice, but here we're under the assumption that 1) The OP thinks their R is worth restoring and 2) that we vent here and talk about problems so that can skew the big picture.

In my honest opinion, I think his treatment of you is unacceptable and if this were physical abuse, no one here would be telling you to smile and bite your tongue as a fist slams into your face. It is hard to give advice for his obvious verbal abuse to you. Though even if you don't stay together, he's going to continue this way with you unless the MC really gives him an aha! moment, so giving you support and maybe tools so that he doesn't turn you into woman torn down with his words is good no matter what happens in your sitch.

You have made your changes. You're right--he's the one that needs to change himself. Did you say he's in IC as well? I'm sure the house he grew up in plays a big factor in how he's treating you--but that's not a pass for him at all. I think he's threatened by your changes. If you were giving it right back to him, he could keep blaming you for how he acts. Like a "freak-out" from you gives him justification to treat you like that. Now that you aren't doing those things, and if you keep not doing those things, he's not going to be able to ignore that he's the one still acting like an @ss while you're calm and rational.

I know you're hurt. I'd be worried about you if you weren't. I'm not one that can preach detachment because I sucked royally at it, but I'm sure if you figured out how to really do it, it'd do only good things for you. To be able to detach yourself from what he is saying about you and knowing it really has nothing to do with you (because it doesn't--he's bullying you because it makes him feel better about himself).

Right now though, he's not going to validate your growth so recheck that your expectations are set low. He's not in a place where he can see clearly. But we make really cute cheerleaders here, so feel free to brag about your new and improved self and we can try to balance out his negativity.

You're most definitely not some demonic crazy person though. We've been talking here for a couple months and I've yet to see evidence of any demonic qualities.