having some second thoughts about job...

[Freckle6]

I had to search back to see how old your boys are. They're babies still--you only get one shot at giving them a good childhood. Logistics of visitation 4 hours away, for the next 12 years will be a nightmare.

Friend's birthday parties, sports practices and games, school functions, etc. will start being issues and being 4 hours away, it'll become easier to skip *this* weekend so they can do X until you're skipping more weekends with them than not. I don't mean that you would want to not see them, but understandably you won't want to always be taking them from all that other childhood stuff. If you're local, they can still have their time with you and you can drop them at Chuck E. Cheese for Joey's birthday party for a couple hours and pick them up and have the rest of your time together.

I feel terrible for men in your situation where the wife wanted out and suddenly you're without your partner *and* your children. Unfair doesn't even begin to cover it. And it's unfair that you're having to decide between something you worked so hard and so long for and being near your boys. But it's even less fair that their Daddy isn't part of their everyday lives anymore.

I know your W took away your say in the your marriage and she took away your children from your home and you can't do anything about that, but you can make it so you have every opportunity to be a frequent and consistent part of their lives by moving closer to them. It isn't just about scheduled visitation. It's about the important little league game on a Tuesday evening, about being able to stop by for an hour in the hospital with some contraband food when one has had his tonsils out or being able to get to the ER when one has broken an arm after climbing a tree. With the busy schedule of a cardiac surgeon 4 hours away, will those things be possible over the years?

I tried to make my 2x4 out of pine, rather than a harder wood.