I have done very well with not talking to him all day today or yesterday. I will be forced to respond when he tells me what time he will be here to pick up S3 tomorrow, but I am going to limit everything. I am thinking at least a week of this. I know this may be going way dark, but I am angry and am feeling strength in not seeing or talking to him. Not sure what that means though.
He doesn't want the kids this weekend as "he needs to have some time for himself too!" I have the kids Sunday afternoon, through Friday night at 6pm. And he needs more time? If we weren't living is separate houses he'd have to work all week and have the kids on the weekends, what's the difference? Sorry I am venting now and I appreciate all that are reading and responding. You are all making me so much stronger. Thank you so so much!
Our current arrangement is he is suppose to have the kids every weekend. He can't take the kids an hour away just for the night, during the week, on a regular basis. It's not fair to the kids, plus I didn't want this and I want my kids at home with me. His choice not to be here. I want them to see their dad, but I want them to be in their home as much as possible. It's familiar in these unfamiliar times.
D12 opened up a lot today. I kept her home from school as she had a major break down. Finally she said, " this just happened so fast, no one told me it was going to happen, it just did so fast." She hates her dad but loves him. She knows it's not her fault, but she said he left me and my brother too. She said, he made a promise to you and he lied. She then said, I don't want to see him, but it's hard to not have him around everyday. She is so confused and hurt and betrayed. I would love to have OW and H see her face today and hear the pain in her voice. It kills me. It kills me and I can't fix it for her. I don't know how to not have hate in my heart for H! What kind of man leaves his family without a fight? Sorry that was probably wrong, but I just wish he had to pick up the pieces here too, ya know?
So, how do I act when he comes tomorrow. Can I just stay quiet? I am angry, he led me on telling me we want the same thing and that we needed to be stronger, all the while telling OW he was at the point of no return and felt guilty and didn't want to hurt me. He led his wife on. I just don't knw I can forgive him right now, maybe this is just a deal breaker for me, my point of no return. I just can't believe it, did I ever know him?
Wow this is long, thanks to those who get through it!
Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.
