My Story...grass is greener (pt 2)

[Deep]

(I should know better than to post this ...) but here goes:

Nsw, think about the possibility that the "mess" is not so much your relationship (or ex-relationship) but yourself. And there's where you are solely, 100% responsible and culpable.

You're STILL not looking at taking that responisbility like an adult however. STOP bleating about how your ex's behaviour changed you. It affected you sure, but the change was and is and will always be your choice. You seem to revel in the drama of the "darkness" like a child. A disturbed child at that.

Some people here get 2X4'ed for elevating the OP by contacting him/her. some people get 2X4'ed for putting their spouse / partner on a pedestal. You're the first I recall who is actually putting the OP on a pedestal and emasculating yourself.

Stop with the self-immolating and self-pitying perspective. And stop alternating this with helpless, impotent rage. It's sickening to see.

It's like people here are throwing you a hand or a rope, and you're too busy whining about how much you fear the pain of hitting the pavement even as you are playing hopscotch on the 60th floor ledge of a building.

Decide if you truly want help.