I feel like a failure at DBing because I seem to go between being okay (even if just a few hours) and then being anxious because of what my H says to me. I have the movie It's Complicated. I will watch this evening ( at least I can do this).
I called the nurse and I have an appoinment with my medical Dr. this week for the medication.
The alt? What is that? Facebook?
OLD THREAD-http://tinyurl.com/y98nuty Me 44 H 51 T 15 yrs M 9+ yrs No Kids "You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment unless you trust enough."
You are not a failure at DB'ing! Everyone goes through this stage. You have to learn that! I can't make you. On bad days and we all get them. You have to learn to pick yourself up dust yourself off and take steps to move forward again. Read some other people sichs. Go back to their first few posts and you will see, you are no different than anyone else. Look at LOST1234.
So I should not call him at all this week, even though we plan to spend half a day together Thursday discussing taxes, house, etc? I really do not want to talk about R or D during our visit, but not sure how to prevent it because I think he may bring it up. I would like to see if we can just enjoy each others company. He is taking a half a day off from work and I am taking the whole day.
I plan to see my lawyer on Thursday morning (before meeting with my H) to really understand all of my options at this point including the fact that he will deployed overseas at the end of April.
It's so good to read the sitch where things have really worked out for the best in all circumstances, bnut I feel like my situation is hopeless. However, I will try to stick to GAL moving forward and see what happens. However time to spend with my H is running out since he leaves soon for overseas.
Thank you all for the warm support.
OLD THREAD-http://tinyurl.com/y98nuty Me 44 H 51 T 15 yrs M 9+ yrs No Kids "You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment unless you trust enough."
No, don't call. It will be the biggest test of your will power.
The other thing is if he calls, DON'T ANSWER. Give it a day, and call him back. If he asks what happened to get together, nonchalantly tell him you have so much going on you forgot.
What do people always want?
What they can't have.
Don't be readily accessible. Even if you aren't really doing anything, make it LOOK like you are doing something.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
Yes! What LolaL says! DO NOT CALL!!! I think talking to your L will help...good!
Try not to get your hopes up too much when you do meet! It may be all business and that is ok (it's taxes...yuck!). Look your best, smell good, wear something flattering to you and walk in with confidence! NO R talk at all! Nothing! Keep your cool, no tears (I KNOW...toughie!)
Keep reading those positive stories! You are doing good!
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
This is difficult. But I came home tonight, listened to some great music, and DID NOT even ATTEMPT to call my H. I feel good right now, still worried, but I feel good. I sang with the music and just remembered how good it feels to just hang out and enjoy the night doing something I love doing.
i appreciate the enormous amount of support everyone has provided to me since I joined. I am sure I will continue to have my moments, but hopefully they will be few and far between.
I do plan on wearing something flattering. I am not sure who said it, but the Separation Diet has been good to me. I have lost 15 pounds since me H left and not having to cook "meaty" dinners everynight has done wonders.
I can do this....just breathe......
Thanks everyone.!
OLD THREAD-http://tinyurl.com/y98nuty Me 44 H 51 T 15 yrs M 9+ yrs No Kids "You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment unless you trust enough."
DestinyUnknown - Right there with ya! People ask what diet I am on and I tell them a diet you don't want to be on. I lost 35 pounds in 2.5 months! Down to a size 8/9! Feels really good. Bitter Sweet Diet!
I never really knew how bad I felt about my body until the weight started coming off. Now I actually enjoy shopping.
Keep up the great work! and don't call!!
LNG Me - 37 H - 42 S - 19 D - 16 D - 14 M - 20 years S - 1/11/2010 http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1942142&page=1
I am glad you are doing better. Just know that there are going to be up days and down days. You have to gather your strength to deal with the bad days. It will get better.
Keep the focus on you not your R and it will make it easier. List out you GAL activities and work on them!
Thank you. I have been so worried that I didn't talk or focus on my R, that my H would forget and assume that because we are not talking about it, that we are "accepting" our fate and it would end in D.
This is not what I want. I want to have an honest, fulfilling, and loving marriage with my H. I feel as though we both put other things before our R and stopped doing the things that made both of us happy as individuals.
I wish my H could see or realize that, but I know, we cannot control what they do. Good progress continues.... I have not even dialed his number.
I can do this. I just need to keep telling myself that.
OLD THREAD-http://tinyurl.com/y98nuty Me 44 H 51 T 15 yrs M 9+ yrs No Kids "You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment unless you trust enough."
I have been so worried that I didn't talk or focus on my R, that my H would forget and assume that because we are not talking about it, that we are "accepting" our fate and it would end in D.
I think this is erroneous thinking. If you are pursuing him, he is running away from you. If you stop your pursuit, he "may" come back towards you. This is basic DB'ing. Just like MWD says in her books. I know that it is counterintuitive but it works.
