On the confessing and forgiveness question. One of the things we were to think about was "What do I need to forgive myself for?" And that was when I admitted my culpability for 20 years of longing for someone else. I knew I was guilty of wrongdoing that hurt the marriage. But I was given the power to forgive myself for it. And that did work. My H later questioningly accused me of having been unfaithful too, and I admitted that I had. But neither of us went into details. I admitted that I had been adulterous too, and he had been caught.
