nsw, you and you alone are responsible for this mess.
I will own up to the mistakes I made during the R. I will even own up to letting my emotions and fears get the best of me after she left leading to a sharp tongue and unwise actions. And I will also own up to acting like a jerk...here.
But no I'm not solely responsible for the "mess".
When she left me, more changed in me than just the things she liked/disliked...I became much darker. Even my own family has expressed distaste in my words/actions...saying I've come down to my ex's level.
Originally Posted By: pearlharbr
You have been given excellent advice and you actively choose to piss it away.
I wont argue the quality of the advice...but it is primarily designed to work in situations where theres still a legal tie between two people...a marriage. When she left...there was/is nothing legally binding her to me...no required MC...no remaining in the home because half of it is hers, etc.
And lets not forget the OM...she left me so she could be with him. Given his success and articulation skills when she needed a shoulder...its unlikely that anything I did or didnt do would have prevented them from being together.
Now...if and when they're over and done with (which I doubt will happen)...it might be a different story. In that case, had I backed off and left her alone since she left, stayed polite and made things pleasant with her in our interactions, worked on myself, etc. then that might have put me in line as "the better option".
Unless he does something bad to her that I didnt, like physical or verbal abuse, their relationship is likely to last at least a couple years if not forever. She made a choice and if she ever does regret it, and its much later than sooner, too bad for her. After all that time...after all she has put me through and and all that her and the OM will have done together...I would never want my ex back.
