Thanks so much for your helpful advice. I stumbled upon the Divorce Remedy book at a public library, and actually started crying while reading it. Pathetic, I know. I can not handle the stress at home and often go see films, to the library, etc., rather than return home in the evenings.
Wife was pretending she was going to throw me out of the house. I told her it was my house too. She backed off and got very conciliatory and sweet, then switched back into nasty mode the next day. It's like she has multiple personalities.
I have *no* money at this point. The refi she is doing is something I support, since the debt she racked up (probably pursuing alcohol/gambling/men) last year would be half mine. We will have little or no equity left in our home when it is finished. She basically screwed her own children for 30K USD in the span of a year.
I am quietly switching my direct deposit and will approach an attorney when I'm able. We haven't spoken for three days, and while it's tense, I'm enjoying the relative peace of "going dark".
The DR book has been very helpful, but sad also. It describes couples who are willing to at least admit they might not be perfect. This is not my wife. Everything that happens is someone else's fault (mine, one of the kids, etc.).
Quote:
You fight for what is RIGHT or else all you're doing is further financing and funding her lascivious lifestyle. Heck NO!
There is nothing I can do to help Ms. Crushed. Michelle's book taught me that. What is right, I have decided, is to show my children a father who will start over rather than be a doormat. It's going to take weeks of work, but I'm starting now, thanks to you folks.
I have read this forum for a few weeks now, as I mentioned before, pondering what I could do in an attempt to repair my relationship. I wish that I could go another five years (until youngest son is 18) but I just can't. The most meaningful part of the book was forgiving oneself when there's nothing left to give. That's basically where I am today.
Peace...
M:40 W:40 2 teenagers ILYBNILWY: 09 January 2010 soon to be walking away my situation
