this job I'm in I'm already leaving. mid april... its a dead end job now. I've already resigned... though I regret it a little bit. No, I was out of here not matter what...
now the question is do I leave to go elsewhere-- try and keep doing the cardiac thing
or do I take the job in the town where they are. working much harder for less pay... I suppose putting it that way makes the choice seem easy... right? (go there)
but the sacrifice... what if all I get is weekends anyhow... I can always come there for the weekends I get them.
I don't know.. whenever I come here and talk to you (and others) you always seem to see what is clear-- go there, be near the boys.
but she has taken them... she has made it such that they are getting used to a life without me.
skyped with them tonight... they were all eating together. it was very painful.
I understand sacrifice for the family. I did that for 9 years... now I am doing it every day... now do I take even that much more of a sacricfice? how much sacrifice? is there an end to it?
what about self respect and self love? shouldn't these things matter? shouldn't you love the job that you do?
what if she chooses a life with him (or already has and just will not tell me)... he is already living in a house right near them now...
how do I get back into my kids life when I move up there?
just kindof throwing out things but these are the things that plague my thoughts.
she did meet with a woman friend for lunch today who went through a tough time with her marriage-- for 2 years... they just had a kid. saw the same MC that we are seeing... perhaps she went to talk to her to get some hope? maybe...
