So I've been having some real second thoughts about taking this job in the town where wife and kids are.
As I have said before, I will be doing general and thoracic surgery and giving up cardiac surgery. Its a big deal to give up the cardiac, plus I will be doing general surgery...something I'm not entirely thrilled about.
My concern is I move to the town where my family is and we do not reconcile. I make a sacrifice and give up what I trained to do. I take a big paycut. this is a one way deal. I will not, very easily, or perhaps at all, be able to go back to cardiac. Money is not all that important to me but I have a lot of debts (w helped out with this)and it will take me a long time to pay them off...
So then I will be stuck only seeing my kids on the weekend, and I will potentially be doing something that I will not really be happy doing.
so even if we do reconcile there is a chance that I will be unhappy with work.
I have been trying to detach... trying to DB... but this is a big decision, and I feel it is important to have your self respect and feel good about yourself.
I know what all of you think about the kids... but recently I found that the OM has now moved into the house he bought right near my W... of course it is near his kids too... but its tough to take. Very tough
I am still in the other place. I still feel in limbo.
W says she has not thrown in the towel, and we will be meeting with the MC on friday. She says she wants to to see if he can help us. Does not want a d... but she has no light in her eyes when she looks at me... it seem so far gone
I feel like she is just dragging me along... not wanting to amputate this withered limb that I have become...
