Well......Puppy.......I got closer than ten feet of her yesterday.......
I initiated first contact, but she definitely took it to the next level. After, we had Sunday dinner with S16 as usual and then she went home to her apartment. Before leaving she said "thanks for ________ me". I made a joke about it not being the greatest (what can you expect after 3 months) and she said "maybe next time".
I know it should not have happened, but it did. It's one thing to say you will not act on your desires, but another to actually stop in the heat of the moment after 3 months of nothing.
I had been thinking that WAW was considering returning home and reconciliation at some point. But a couple of recent comments and actions on her part have me thinking otherwise.
First there was the acquisition of the puppy when we already have a dog, cat and parrot at the house that are supposedly hers. Then, on Sunday she commented that she might be moving to a larger apartment across from her current one. It would mean signing a one year lease all over again. Since adding 3 months to the possible date of reconciliation means nothing to her, it seems unlikely that she has any plans of coming home. I did make a comment about this and she just said something like "I have not made any decision yet, but am not going to put my life on hold".
Then....the very next day she says she's been looking at vacations for us to go in in spring.
Last night WAW texted me after work: "wanna come over,". This from the woman who up until now didn't want me anywhere near her apartment. Initially, with DB principles in mind, and beacause I was very tired, I politely declined the offer. After a few more texts, my willpower (or won'tpower) died and I was on my way.
Within less than 15 minutes, at her suggestion we were in her bedroom. It was much better than the quickie a couple weeks ago. We lied in bed and talked for a while later and then talked a while in her living room before I left.
She still plans on moving to a 2 bedroom apt next door, even though that means re-signing a one year lease and extending the time frame to possibly come home by 3 months - at least from that point of view.
She said many times that she misses me and I admitted same. I think it was time to be honest. I also said that while I now know we needed time apart, I am ready for her to come home anytime, but only if things will be better. I put no pressure on her, and said I understand if she's not there or even close.
I have to admit, that it was kind of exciting and if this continues I have the best of both worlds in some ways - except for the financial aspects of running two residences.
We are still considering a spring vacation together. I'm not sure what is best there.
My D18 and S16 know where I was last night and are aware that this was a big step for my wife. They are quite intuitive and likely know what occured.
This is getting stranger day by day!!! Now what???
All comments and feedback appreciated. Yes, Puppy, even yours - although driving home last night, I actually thought this would bring admonishment from you. At least I thought of you then, not during...................
Sounds a lot like my situation ( two apartments, "wanna come over?" txt msgs, going away together this weekend ).
Me: 45 WAW: 45 | M22 | T25 | No Kids Nov 09 W Filed | Dec 09 Separation Mar 17 2010 Divorce Papers Signed | Divorce Hearing Cancelled Moved back home May 2010 PA Confirmed June 2010 | W left Dec 7 2010
I wouldn't have a problem with it, if YOU were initiating (you're not -- she is), you didn't have prior charges of ASSAULT from this woman (you do), and if you weren't responding to her at the drop of a hat (you are -- 15 minutes??? god, you're easy!!).
I hope you are DOCUMENTING all of these encounters. Get some, as they say, "contemporaneous" evidence, meaning TELL A THIRD PARTY each time it happens, so that they can later testify on your behalf, if need be.
And I don't want to hear ANY more nonsense from anyone that your wife still lives in fear of you. That's obviously b.s. now.
I wouldn't have a problem with it, if YOU were initiating (you're not -- she is), you didn't have prior charges of ASSAULT from this woman (you do), and if you weren't responding to her at the drop of a hat (you are -- 15 minutes??? god, you're easy!!).
I hope you are DOCUMENTING all of these encounters. Get some, as they say, "contemporaneous" evidence, meaning TELL A THIRD PARTY each time it happens, so that they can later testify on your behalf, if need be.
And I don't want to hear ANY more nonsense from anyone that your wife still lives in fear of you. That's obviously b.s. now.
Puppy
15 minutes...you're giving me more credit than I deserve. She's so hot that I just can't be anything other than easy. I try to think with the big head, but.....
I am documenting it all. keeping the texts and telling a friend everything.
There certainly is no fear of me now and no further mention of anything like that from WAW. Virtually nothing but compliments at this point. I really think it may just be a matter of time.
I know one thing - things are so much better than Dec 1st when she moved out. Now to be patient and keep trying to do the right thing.
