What takes so long for us to GET is that it really doesn't matter how you feel about your wife, what she's done, and how what she's done reflects on you as a man.


Sorry.


You don't control her actions. You can try any "strategy" you want. You can be mean, you can be nice. You can smother her or you can shun her.


In my opinion, this is about HER making her own decisions and removing you as far as possible from her decision making process.


You push and you'll find out just how much this is about her and NOT you.


Here's the hard part Eric...


You have a decision to make. That decision is a question of how far you are willing to go for the (possibly slim) chance that you get your wife back one day.


Are you willing to live your own life for weeks, months, maybe even a few years while she figures out what is going on inside of her? There are no time guidelines on this stuff. If she doesn't choose to divorce you, can you accept that she's got some significant crap going on inside of her and it's that crap that has sent her packing?



See, that's why we tell you early to make this about YOU. That's why we tell you to take advantage of the fact that she wants nothing to do with you. That's why we tell you to look at this as a mid-life correction for YOU.


This [censored] is tough. Make no bones...and it's not for everyone.



And Eric? You are guaranteed nothing. She may see the light one day, and she may never see the light.


You will recall that my marriage ended in divorce...not all of us win the battle for the marriage.


Know what though? I'm pretty damned happy with my life these days.


That's what we want for you.


Blessings,

bill

"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."