flowmom | shifting from devastated to rebuilding

[Vulcanized]

I wouldn't do that. I think I'm actually unintentionally reverting back to the first stage of our R, where we spent 2 years in a long-distance non-monogamous R before committing. At that time, dating and having flings was part of how I protected myself and maintained my dignity while H dealt with grieving and needing to get his yayas out. It wasn't about revenge or "tit for tat", but more about deciding to make lemonade about the lemon that life had handed me. And I guess I'm in the mood to make lemonade again. But there's a lot more at stake now, and I realize that I just can't afford any messiness in my sitch. Making lemonade might not be a good choice for me right now.

Thanks for taking the time to help me. Believe me when I say that I take everyone's input to heart, whether or not it's obvious.

Hi Flow,

There is absolutely nothing wrong w/dating [coffee, movies, dinner, etc] if that is what you want to do. If you decide to take it to the next level [physical], that is your choice to make as you see fit.

I know that in your sitch, and mine as well, the stakes are way higher than before M. But for me, I'm extremely tired of H's enforced [for me, anyway] celibacy. We have no M, and he is certainly not celibate. So, hell, I'm tired of toeing his double standard line. Not to mention, perhaps a little 'lemonade' might make me a little less cranky!

My biggest concern w/that is needlessly hurting a 3rd party. So I am still faithful to a H who really doesn't deserve my fidelity.