My H was very clear that he would never be able to live with me again either...it is the fog, the affair, the depression...whatever is involved that is keeping them going the other way...
I filed for D twice in the time he was gone...that is how done "I" got at times (not that I recommend this action/reaction)...but in the end I realized that this was more then ending the relationship...it was about change...change that needed to be done a long time ago and was put off...I had never supported myself, I had always relied on H, I was auto-pilot for many years...doing what I thought I was supposed to do but not really getting the clues...
Soooo, when H walked out the door I started listening...and instead of telling him what I was doing to better myself (and it was for me) I just started doing it...living it...breathing it...eating it...I worked on me and he eventually noticed...when things went south for him he cracked open the door a little for me to get my foot in and ask him if we could work on things...it was a big step for us both...I had grown a lot...in a good way...and we both created a new relationship...sure, a lot is the same but there are some very major differences now that should have been all along...I have a life...I can do things with MY friends, I can do things by myself, I can work and support my family, I can have fun without H...I have my own life and my own happiness...but it took a few years of misery to get there!
