Sorry that you find yourself here. I have one word for what she's doing - CONTROL. From what you've described, she's been controlling and manipulating the sitch for a while.
I would suggest that whether you decide to stay or go, detach. Go out and have fun for you. Show her that YOU have self-worth. Build up your courage and strength so that when your W says she wants a D, you can tell her "you know, you're right! This isn't working out for me. I'm going to get the life and person I deserve." And leave it at that.
Get your nuts back from your W's purse.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
