You just answered your own question. Don't answer her. Let her email you, call, etc. After the 3rd time you can reply back that you've been out and too busy to call her.
Let the sitch build.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
I do like the point of glimpses and leaving her wanting more.
My biggest problem right now is my finances- so out of whack. I'm not sure if there is an immediate solution aside from a second job and a roommate.
W was at the house yest before I got home. I noticed she opened some mail from the IRS. We are expecting the home buyers credit-I wasn't at all surprised to see that she had opened it.
Sad thing is we have to have the house for 3 years, if we sell or default in that time the credit has to go back.
I'm pissed that she thinks she's entitled to it- She'll benefit a little already b/c we filed jointly last year , then suddenly one of her student loans went to collections, so the IRS has already let us know some of the credit will be earmarked for that collection.
Everything is me me me. All the perks w/ no work or committment. i know that her finances are a mess as well- I wish she would just conceed and team up w/ me so we have some support.
Before W left she texted me that she'll help me clean this weekend if I want.
Came up w/ a plan to possibly stage an intervention - I will not move forward unless there is undeniable proff- OM1's GF is going to help by encouraging OM1 to come clean w/ what he knows.
OM2 is a known partier and cokehead, W is all over him these days- he's divorced and a bit of a womanizer from what I can tell.
W is missing work, sleeping the day away, and generally losing it from what I can gather- keep in mind though that we really do not speak too much.
The goal is not to save the M but to get her help if she'll take the opportunity. I don't think she'll jump at the chance unless there is undeniable proof of her using- hopefully OM1 will be a better man than he's been and help.
Tonight I GAL by going to dinner w/ friends then a blockbuster night.
Feeling pretty good today. Not stressed about finances, everything will work out- just need to keep to the budget and plug away.
NC w/ W now for a few days. Feels good. Spoke to a few friends last night after dinner- one is trying to set me up w/ someone- at first I was excited, then after thinking a bit, I'm thinking it's not the best thing to do. I could use the opportunity to rebuild some confidence and meet new people, but I also feel like it's just too soon. The person is aware of my sitch, so I don't have to worry about the honesty part- but still is it fair for me to do something like that?
I don't want to run from my pain and fill a void. If I continue to GAL and work on myself I can become whole again w/o having to use crutches and potentially confuse myself more, or hurt someone else.
I know a few people here encourage some friend dating, but still-I have my reservations.
I really want to get my W's dogs out of the house. I know she's w/ OM2 and it's not fair for me to allow her to cake eat.
I've tried to set up a meeting earlier in the week, but W just won't follow through. I cannot do it over the phone or by text b/c it's not appropriate.
Any suggestions? Should I text that they need to be gone by the end of the day, or she can pick them up at the pound?
Or maybe just drop them off at her work this evening?
If you feel you need to date. Then your not ready to date.
If you feel like you need to get out and have a good evening of conversation and company. Then your ready to have a good evening of conversation and company.
Trust me you are going to fall in love with everyone and think that they are in love with you.
Then you get over that as its just your emotions in overload. And since your learning all about your emotions now. You understand this.
If anyone comes on to you. Either walk away or state a boundary. You do not need extra grief at this time in your life.
You are correct on not running away. Face issues.
As for the dogs.... Keep them for now. Do you love the dogs? They are good company and they show you that you are loved.
This could help you. But if seeing wife is too much then I understand. Do not do the pound. Do whats right.
Just state that you need her to take the dogs as you feel that they need her care as you feel you cannot give them 100% attention.
This is one of those little nothing moments that where you take the high road has long lasting effects. Maybe it is not noticed now. But it will be months down the road.
I repeat. If you can handle being responsible for the dogs then keep them.
Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul. unconditional love is awesome!
Thanks Cutter- I do feel I can take care of them, but I also feel like I'm being a door mat- W has no plans to come back, is it right for me to have to take care of her dogs to simplify her life and her choices?
This is the line I have a hard time walking. Naturally, I love the dogs- I would never take them to the pound.
I feel like by taking care of them for her- I know I'm doing the right thing, but she may view it as me being her b*&ch- I have done that for too long now.
Similarly, making her take responsibility may be perceived as me being spiteful. I told her that since she's dating, there is no reason I should have to take care of her dogs- naturally she denies.
