i guess i'm just thinking out loud here...if it's true this is a cylce that will only continue to repeat itself, how much of myself do i want to invest in this R?
Do you think YOU are the same person? Are you approaching the R the same way? I am not trying to overdo a compliment, but I really think that if my W was doing what you have said that you are doing/trying to do, I'd be much less likely to be unhappy.
Your H might have VERY different feelings, but I'd add to my last response by saying this...in my 11 yr marriage, I thought about D a lot - monthly or more. Did I ever tell her before this last year? Only once, we talked about it. The fact of the matter is the kids have provided for me enough of a reason to hope/work this far. It isn't enough forever, I think. How many men D in the first 2-3 yrs. A US stat document on D points that most D are in the first 5 yrs. Despite ADHD and huge failures that have put my deepest values in question, I got that far.
Can your H? Only time will tell. But one thing we know about DB is that many premises change a lot about our M dynamics. Maybe this is one area that you don't need to explore now. IF/When you get together and you give it enough time (1yr?) and he's still talking D, then maybe you can give up.
