should i expect this to happen again and again? obviously, you have never met him and every person is different, but it's been difficult for him to break free of the cycle...have you ever found yourself in the same situation over and over again?
Yup. Now things that I love, I commit to and I think commit quite well. From what I've read, I would infer that the part of ADHD that affects committment is the fear of failure. When you've failed a lot, do you keep going down the road that is very rewarding, but also filled with failures, too?
My guess is that if you get a good understanding of how he reacts to R stressors that are controllable, without breaking your boundaries, and expect fallout or avoid it, he'll feel less failure and then be more committed. On the other hand, maybe when he's networking alone, he's thinking 'why am I alone' and that triggers him. His IC will need to figure that one out. Perhaps, God willing, you will get back together knowing things are tentative. Maybe you can ask him to explore his dissatisfactions with his IC, but I'd be afraid that would be rocking the boat.
For me, part of my distress with my W is that she can't handle uncertainty. She hates that me/my sister (etc) accept having flexible fun schedules, leave later/earlier/whatever. She likes a solid footing. If you need things very fixed in your life with your R, you already know that isn't likely.
I hate marking. I want to do it, I believe it is very, very important. Yet, once again, I have a stack that is beyond unmanagable. Yes, I'm going through a very rocky time, but I haven't quite learned. Will I quit over it and find a new career? I don't think so, but I've thought about it out loud. My W needs to know I need her then to support me, not tell me to quit....so yes, I repeat mistakes. Don't we all? Diff is in the why & how much, not the what.
I'm not sure if I answered your question well...ask again if it wasn't.
