FM: I saw your no more "deer in the headlights" goal.
I had "deer in the headlights" too up until the very recent past. It seems the tone YOU set and acting as if over time can soothe that. But some of it also seems to be self-generated anxiety and guilt. I noted some things I was doing to make it worse. So don't mirror it back even if he leads with it and also don't go too enthusiastically the other way because too much positivity can seem like affection and thus cause it. It's all very weird. I hope that made sense. And any hint of pressure or R talks and fear of R talks also seems to cause it. Also, any times he re-enters your house, that can cause it because the life and home you shared together is now an "issue" and the visit is a "reminder" of the decision. On this board it seems that many WAHs exist and maintain on some combo. of distraction and denial.
