I'm very sorry about your situation. I know that you're going through some very hard times right now (to say the least), but you've done the right thing by reaching out on this forum.
In response to one of your questions, I think you have the right idea about going to counseling or possibly even seeing a doctor for your anger/depression issues. I think this could make a big difference for your emotional health, and it would likely make an impression on your W. You MUST take care of your own emotional well-being before you can work on having a happier relationship.
Keep following the advice from the book. Giving her space is difficult (I'm having a hard time giving my H space right now), but you don't want to drive her completely away by pursuing her.
Good luck with your situation, and I hope counseling or seeing a doctor helps you find some peace.
