But what about the fact that BOTH of you made a promise (to have and to hold, to honour with your bodies, etc) which one of you has chosen not to fulfil? Does that still make the promise binding?
Sometimes what you describe seems to come very close to having a victim complex: wilfully suffering in the name of love or duty because it feeds a psychological need.
I agree that we are who we say ourselves to be. Yet, there must always be the possibility for self-growth, for transformation, for re-defining ourselves. But I appreciate that you're looking for an honourable way to escape from the trap in which you've caged yourself.
