I find it hard to believe he can actually believe he can make other people responsible for his emotional state.
This is actually what we do best...I was a master at blaming others for my shortcomings. Not matter how big or how small, it was always someone elses' fault.
Originally Posted By: columbianchick
Why woud someone show so much hatred towards someone he said he loved so much?
Because to him you are "safe" - Same as my H...
No matter what I knew I could count on him to take the brunt of my rage...
I knew he would be there and he would always forgive me...
My rage was a big factor in me getting help because it got to where I couldn't control it, I didn't see it coming and once it hit, I never knew who would be in my path at such time...
I was cutting more and more and no matter what, I just couldn't control it...
My last episode (about 8 months ago) was also my worst...
When I finally made my way to my Dr. she informed me I was about a week away from a complete mental breakdown - A psychotic break she called it - I was delusional and paranoid which I had never been before...
I was having panic attacks multiple times a day and felt like I was literally losing my mind...
That scared me to hear those words from her...
It also got through to me to accept what I have and to truly do something about it.
Originally Posted By: columbianchick
Some people have suggested he was self medicating.
I did this as well...
Not with the meds I should have taken but with others which would help me to escape the pain I felt...
I also self-injured when I couldn't control my surroundings, couldn't control my emotions or when my "boat" was rocked.
Originally Posted By: columbianchick
Could this spark an episode?
Yes...
There are a lot of triggers that can bring mania/depression on...
He may also already be in an episode and using the painkillers to ease the pain he is feeling...
Sleep is a huge factor in mania - I notice if I don't sleep well...I can see the changes begin to form...
How does he sleep? How is his diet? Does he get fresh air daily? Seasons changing can trigger an episode of mania or depression as well as stress, alcohol, drugs, caffeine, isolation, loneliness, people who emotionally drain you etc...
It is very important for him to be finely attuned into his feelings/emotions because by the time the obvious symptoms of mania/depression hit, it is then often to late to change the mood swings...
It takes a lot of practice and I still don't have it down...
I still get sucked up into the tidal wave of emotions however each day I learn a little bit more and each day I am getting a little bit better.
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
