You have to make a conscious effort...think about where you want to be, make a list. Even if you can only come up with one or two wishlist items, write them down, and read them to yourself, out loud. When you're feeling down & lost, say them to yourself. Heck, I used to scream them to get my mind out of the negative loop it so naturally found.
The emotional relaxation follows the turn of your focus to positive things.
