I'm glad you did not send the letter. It is truly amazing what happens when you sit and wait for a moment to pass- the urgency or emotional drive will weaken, and your response is very different that your reaction.
As for the lying- my W too is chalk full of them. It's to control the sitch and your ability for closure. It's to strengthen his/her hold on LBS and keep the backburner on, if only a little.
There's nothing you can do about it other than not feed into it. They will have to get honest eventually, or not. And it is sad- b/c our R/M's began w/ honesty
