Sitch update...(old poster returning yet again...)

[haphazard]

This is interesting Tim. I think there is a m/f thing going on here. Something that men tend to be very good at is single-minded focus and commitment to doing something well. Women are (generally) more distractible and spread themselves thinner.

So you are single-mindedly focusing on improving your M, you've committed to doing certain things like No TV and AOS so you will do them and not be deflected. I think this is making her feel uncomfortable. I think it makes her feel like she is failing in some way.

I remember way back when, having argument after argument with my H about the household chores. He was just not pulling his weight and we had no kids back then and both worked. We finally figured out that we should each have a week on and a week off. In his week nothing would get done until the final day when he would blitz the place with incredible energy and commitment and hand over a perfect house for my week. On my week I would do a bit here and a bit there knowing that I wouldn't have enough energy to do the whole place in one hit and also knowing that I didn't like leaving things to pile up. On the last day I would (somewhat resentfully) rush around ticking off the last few things on the list. In the end the arrangement broke down because of my resentment of him doing it so well!

I think she needs you to still have a few faults, so she can feel at ease with her own. It's not all roses being married to Mr Perfect if it means you have to be Mrs Perfect.