I don't want to hang on anymore. I am so sad and I has let myself down. I hurt more than you know. I just want the pain to stop and for me so stop thinking about how much he does't care. I just want to disappear. I am so tired and worn down, I can't think. I am in so much pain................
OLD THREAD-http://tinyurl.com/y98nuty Me 44 H 51 T 15 yrs M 9+ yrs No Kids "You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment unless you trust enough."
DestinyUnknownn, I was the same way when my H left - I still at moments feel like giving up. I blamed myself for H's actions. I was angry -hurt all emotions in the book.
You can not give up on yourself - pick yourself up - do something for yourself. When you start feeling overwhelmed do something different. Force yourself to do something - think different - easier said then done (we all know). The pain will ease - you will have good days and bad days.
You did the right thing and spent some time with your Dad - the best thing you can do is spend time with those who will support you unconditionally.
I am not an expert here - have you read any DB Books ? they really helped me.
Hang in there - you can do this.
LNG Me - 37 H - 42 S - 19 D - 16 D - 14 M - 20 years S - 1/11/2010 http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1942142&page=1
I read DR and was encouraged, but my H still left. I am alone in this big house and I have little support from anyone other than you all here, my IC and one very good friend. My girlfriend is so upset with me and cried last night because I am so "gone" with my situation and she has begged my to snap out of this so she can have her friend back.
I don't know how to do this....I have always been a strong and determined person, one the the qualities my H said he LOVED about me. I haven't felt like that person is a long time and I feel lost and unwanted....
OLD THREAD-http://tinyurl.com/y98nuty Me 44 H 51 T 15 yrs M 9+ yrs No Kids "You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment unless you trust enough."
You are still that person. It is still very raw and will be for a long time. It will be a long process, I know that you want this to be over but it is going to take time and there is a great saying on here that time is your friend.
I was in your very position. It took 18 months for my h to get into a place where he wanted to be friends with me. Before then he would hardly communicate (we didn't have children). Don't forget when they first leave they are in their fog and to them you are the big bad wolf. You need to stop doing things that reinforce this opinion that they have and you know what they are.
The biggest thing, you need to stop pursuing, stop the phone calls and texts. You need to stop all relationships talks; you can control yourself on this one if you choose to. It will help you as well as help the relationship as every time you do it, it pushes your h away.
Remember, you are a person whose confidence and security was shattered but that is not all there is of you. This is a moment in time. You will get your confidence and strength back. In fact it will be your strength and determination that will get you through this.
I am now at work and I cannot keep my crying under control. I am so lonely..
Last edited by DestinyUnknown; 02/16/1001:20 PM.
OLD THREAD-http://tinyurl.com/y98nuty Me 44 H 51 T 15 yrs M 9+ yrs No Kids "You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment unless you trust enough."
OLD THREAD-http://tinyurl.com/y98nuty Me 44 H 51 T 15 yrs M 9+ yrs No Kids "You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment unless you trust enough."
My H said he enjoyed the weekend without me spending his birthday doing something fun and enjoyable for the first time in years.
That really hurt my feelings. I was a bad girl and told him that our R was not a dog you can just drop off at the pound without care and concern, but that is exactly how he is treating me.
OLD THREAD-http://tinyurl.com/y98nuty Me 44 H 51 T 15 yrs M 9+ yrs No Kids "You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment unless you trust enough."
Seriously! You HAVE to quit talking to him! He does not define who you are! Don't listen to him as he is just spewing! Remember that you cannot believe anything they say! Have you gone to a Dr to see about anxiety or depression meds? Might help!
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
This is completely unhealthy for you - he is determined to tear you down and its working. You can not allow this.
Cut ALL Contact with him. He will wonder what the heck is going on.
LNG Me - 37 H - 42 S - 19 D - 16 D - 14 M - 20 years S - 1/11/2010 http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1942142&page=1
Honey you have to take a deep breath, gather your thoughts. This is the hardest thing that you may ever have to do.
We have given you advice on the MLC board. You are being given similar advice here. We have all been in your spot before and the reason that we are telling you this is that it does get better. Your M may not get better but YOU will get better. Reread the advice you have been given. You have to take your mind off of your H. The GAL activities help you to do that.
I can try to give you some. Are you on the alt? If not get on it and become a fan of Divorcebusting and join the Divorce Busters group.
Put on your list of movies to watch "Its Complicated"
I have been watching on TV "Men of a Certain Age"
What can you suggest for my list?
Let me know when you are on the "alt"? Put it on the MLC board. We will find you then.
