An interesting dynamic is starting to become apparent. Last evening when I got home from work, I saw that there was a basket of laundry sitting there unfolded. All 3 kids had been home all day, because yesterday was a provincial "holiday" (non-mandatory, I had to work), and still nobody had folded it. So after I changed out of my clothes, I went into the living room, grabbed the basket, and started to fold (it was just a few towels and washcloths - wouldn't take more than 5 minutes to fold and put away). W came in and saw me folding, and immediately said "Don't fold those - I'll fold them later." She even grabbed the basket and started taking it down the hallway. I protested that I could certainly fold the towels and it would only take me a few minutes, and it isn't that I don't do it well, either. She then dumped the basket on the floor and started folding them herself, somewhat exasperated. I calmly helped her fold them and put them away.
I'm thinking there are a couple of possibilities here. First, I'm thinking that with me doing all these AOS for her, giving her what she said she needed to help her feel connected with me, she realizes she'll have to step up to the plate and reciprocate with me, and she doesn't want to. I think she actually liked the status quo, and isn't ready to give it up. Also, if I'm looking around and seeing things like this that aren't done, and doing them, perhaps she feels that reflects on her as a housekeeper, even though the kids were also home all day and could have (SHOULD have) folded them already. It does seem like she's starting to push back against my AOS campaign.
Last night after supper, we sat in bed and read till bedtime. We were both kind of tired, and I thought it would be a nice low-impact way to spend some time together. As for the supper dishes, I let the kids help her with that, because they should. In fact, after supper, they jumped up right away and started clearing the table, which I took as a sign that they wanted to do that, but when W was preparing to wash the dishes, they all disappeared, such that she had to go after them and ask them to come dry. Interesting. Anyway, reading in bed was nice, but it was still more of the same, in that there was no physical closeness, and she dozed most of the time, but baby steps...
This morning, I saw that the dishwasher was clean, so I emptied it and put the dishes away before breakfast. She was out of the room. I also made sure that all the dirty dishes were in the dishwasher before I left for work. The campaign continues...
