I could never do what your husband did. I could never walk. Sorry, I just can't justify that to myself. I really do believe in the permanence of marriage.
So do I MrP, I was putting myself in your shoes and my H in your W's shoes. What I mean is that you cannot fault yourself if she makes a choice that you wouldn't make. If she makes the decision to split it will be in spite of you, so don't feel like you could have done something to save the M - you probably couldn't.
Please do go along to Al-anon. I'm sure you will get a lot of support there. And the best thing about it (aside from it being free) is that no-one will try to tell you what to do. They will listen to your story, and they will tell you theirs and you will learn a lot from each other.
A good friend of mine gave me a mantra when I was going through the worst of things with my H and that was just to keep repeating to myself *I don't deserve this*. It made a big difference to my head. I think you should try it. :-)
if we can be sufficient to ourselves, we need fear no entangling webs Erica Jong
