Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this. I wonder if in MC the topic of leaving the house together, even for an afternoon coffee or hike or something, is going to come up. Or is the idea wait for him to initiate anything at all social without S? And that hopefully this will happen when more overall resentment dies down?
It sounds like positive stuff about the theatre GAL calmness and him hearing about the anger issues. And that he's now willing to watch TV and hang out some in the evening. I can understand though how it would be difficult to be dealing with hard stuff in MC with only tiny occasional glimpses of the positive outside there. I wonder if your H still has his guard up and if he's gotten comfortable behind it.
I agree that not even a jokey VDay card or junk candy is upsetting. I really don't get it. Truly, how much would it imply? Nothing actually. Like a tiny gesture of kindness is going to save a R? Of course not. So if the reason is not to "give false hope" that reason seems a little bankrupt. Seems like an conscious or unconscious act of resentment to me. But I can also see how it may not be. Who knows?
I tried to put Vday out of my head immediately as best as I was able and focussed on the positives of our lunch. Which of course it's difficult to do knowing he's willing to do any number of things with any number of people that are now "off the list" for whatever reasons for me.
If it's any consolation, my H refuses to participate in holidays with me at all since this started. Often he doesn't participate in them either (or pretends he doesn't) since all this started. He also is controlling about timing, frequency, and type of outings but may think he isn't? It's very weird. He would not sit on a sofa and watch TV with me as your H does. Your H could bolt from the house as soon as you got home, so I think him hanging around with you at all there is positive.
