She must be seeing a lawyer...what now?

[Awoken]

Thanks flowmom,

your short post/inquiry meant a lot to me. I've got a lot on my mind tonight, after returning to my cold cold home.

I did get through it mostly ok. I met a new friend, saw many old ones, and had a great time making music.

I'm feeling ...well upset after the weekend. I think I made some bad choices, and there was turmoil back home while I was gone. I'll post about it in a little while after I've thought some more.

By the way, I really get a lot out of your various posts. I remember when you first got here. You such a great part of this community, so thank you.

[Awoken]

Thank you so much for tonight. Dinner and conversation were wonderful, though too short by far. I felt like we were two old friends!

Thank you too. I too felt like we were old friends, although I just called you a "new friend" in my post to flowmom.

I really wanted to stay and talk/listen so much more. It really was too short, but quality nonetheless.

I am really glad you liked the show, and I hope it lifted your spirits as it does for me. We do one song called "Strange Meadowlark" that (at least to me) is about LBS and db'ing. Per the lyrics, I'm trying to "sing away the dark"


Strange Meadowlark; Dave Brubeck
What a strange meadow lark
to be singing oh so sweetly in the park
tonight.
All alone meadow lark
are you dreaming of the moons that burned so bright
and of love in flight?

Can't you sleep meadow lark?
Is there nothing left but whistling in the dark
so sad?

Was it love meadow lark?
Were the songs you sang last summer crazy mad?
Think of all you had.

A quiet nest up in the clouds where the soft winds blow.
Far from all the noisy crowds where the earthbound go.

Your wings have pressed against a star --
boundless were the skies.
You may have flown too high too far --
love is seldom wise.

Don’t you see meadow lark
though you try your call won’t turn another lark
in flight?

He has gone meadow lark.
You can sing your song until the dawn brings light --
sing with all your might. . . .

Sing away the dark . . . little meadow lark, meadow lark, meadow lark.

[Gardener]

Awoken,
That was great! I'll have to listen to that one. As I said last night, Dave Brubeck lives in my town. He provided the funds for a Brubeck auditorium addition to the town library so, naturally - and fortunately -the library has every CD he's ever recorded.

Thanks again for last night. Let me know of any upcoming gigs within, say, two hours of me or thereabouts.

And I repeat: I loved your playing.

And, yes, the music, the dinner, the discussion, most definitely "lifted my spirits."

All the best!

[flowmom]

(((awoken)))

[Awoken]

I've got some things on my mind, and I need to post them.

When I picked up D17 tonight, she confided in me that S13 and W had a big fight Sunday. I've only got the bare outlines of what happened. D17 knows I don't want her in the middle.

W had started drinking again, and both kids noticed that she was drunk. She wanted to know who they thought should have the house. We S13 told her that he thought I should stay in the house because I work there, that's when the yelling started. Once mom started yelling S13 confronted her about the drinking, and told her he didn't want to talk her when she is like that. D17 came down when she heard the yelling, and tried to intervene.

At one point, W asked them if they would prefer she was out of their lives. D17 told her that would be much worse than just the divorce, and of course they want her in their lives. They want 50/50 custody. W said I was telling them to say these things, and both kids got very angry at her and corrected her, basically standing up for me. I hate that they need to do that.

They eventually made some peace, calming mom down.

Now, I'm hearing all this second hand. Still, when we meet to discuss the D, this kinda of stuff has to be addressed. Both the drinking and her meds are a factor.

[Awoken]

I think I made some bad choices while I was in NY, and it's left me with some more emotional baggage. OR, I'm just overthinking everything. One thing for sure, returning home and returning to reality has been hard today.

Thursday, a woman I've known professionally over the past 10 years came to the show. She is a fan of our singer, and often comes to the shows when we are in NY. Afterward, we hung out with one of the other musicians. She of course wanted to know how I was doing, and the details of my sitch came out.

She texted me later, saying what a good time she had hanging out, and wanted to come to the saturday show, and maybe hangout again afterwards. I was thinking, GAL! Some platonic female attention could be good for me. So I said sure.

We ended up staying out together after the show until well after sunrise. Nothing physical happened, just lots of talking. But it was date like; romantic. It was the kind of thing were neither of us wanted to go, so we just kept saying lets go to another place.

I think we both sensed that it was getting out of hand.
I texted her on Sunday, told her thank you for a fun evening, and told her she had lifted my spirits. I haven't heard back from her.

Somehow, instead of making me feel better about myself, I find that I'm feeling much worse about my sitch in general. I know that some people here advise dating others; I'm not seeing this work for me at all.

Any thoughts?

[flowmom]

Awoken, what an unpleasant family situation to come home to. I feel sad for your children that they are having to deal with your W's craziness. And sad for you that you can't count on the mother of your children to act based on their well-being. I wish you the strength you'll need to take action on this.

I can understand your having mixed feelings about spending that time with your female friend. Next time a situation arises, you can commit to checking in with yourself to see if it feels right in your gut.

[Gardener]

Awoken,

Any thoughts?

Spending hours innocently talking about your sitch during a painful time of your life to a friend of ten years while roaming the streets of NYC and doing nothing physical even if it felt "date-like"?
I see nothing wrong here. Talking. Unburdening.
If you want to beat yourself up, go stand in the kitchen and whack your head with the frying pan a few times.

[Gardener]

However, this:

When I picked up D17 tonight, she confided in me that S13 and W had a big fight Sunday. I've only got the bare outlines of what happened. D17 knows I don't want her in the middle.

W had started drinking again, and both kids noticed that she was drunk. She wanted to know who they thought should have the house. We S13 told her that he thought I should stay in the house because I work there, that's when the yelling started. Once mom started yelling S13 confronted her about the drinking, and told her he didn't want to talk her when she is like that. D17 came down when she heard the yelling, and tried to intervene.

Just screams out for some no-holds-barred boundary-setting and possible court/Child Protective Services intervention, imo.

Hang in there.

[Awoken]

If you want to beat yourself up, go stand in the kitchen and whack your head with the frying pan a few times.

ha! Well, yes I kinda want to do that now.

Just screams out for some no-holds-barred boundary-setting and possible court/Child Protective Services intervention, imo.

sigh, yes. I'll talk to my L today.
My only witnesses are the kids, and they will not want to cooperate. I don't want them to testify against their M.

This wasn't at the level of the incident right before Christmas, but maybe I'm kidding myself again.