I realized the othernight, it's not D's fault. She just is not all the way there, mentally.But she had that spanking coming, without a doubt, she had it coming. Second time she's hosed me, first the dope, then the cops bringing her over here.She plays this I don't let her do anything, I do and she gets me. She has a selfishness and meaness like her mother right now.
She did not do anything someother teen may try, but big difference when she does it on night I'm suppose to have her and I am fighting for time with her as it is.
She has some type of built in resentment vs me and I can relate, feel the same way bout my dad. Love him, but he drives me nuts and he sets me off like no ones business when he tries to tell me what to do. I am conscience of that, so I have tiptoed with D, but nothing has worked. Later Sunday she said we're "good." And nothing may not work, when I was a teen I had nothing to do with my parents, I got that, but I didn't do drugs or have sex, now she hasn't had sex, but ok well the only difference btween she and I, is I didn't get caught and like her wanted my own consequences vs someone telling me the consequences, so i know where she is coming from, what is frustrating is she can not see that I know where she is coming from.But the disrespect, that is mom related.Those two are best friends, there is not a thing wife did not or has not confided in D.
Started the new job at store today, amazing right back where I was 19 yrs ago, broke, single and detailing cars. Funny thing is dealership wants me to work 55 hrs a wk. I do want out of the car business.
I regret how much time I missed, oportunities I missed, it does not seem right if it comes to date someone else, I didn't date my wife enough.
I went and played another poker tournament tonite, I won. Now get this, I can't win a neighborhood game and these wins have not been skill by any means. All gut shots.
I'm not sure if this ADD med is right, I miss my old self, this one is a lot smarter and softer, but I miss the feeling of no meds, no broken heart.
I can tell you this, I have not enjoyed one minute of this experience.
I spent time with a man that had a MLC,he stayed married, never left, testy, no libido, got a mcycle, very depressed he said it was not unusual for him to be in bed for a wk, didn't know why he felt the way he did, but no one could tell him what was wrong, "because they had the problem." His turned out to be that andro something or other, within wks of hormones he was back and better than ever.Took three years and a checklist in a Dr's office because he had all kinds of health issues hitting.
Then met a LBS, whose spouse got all the toys, divorced, they've been divorced 2.5 yrs, he just called her out of the blue and asked her out, she told me she already has moved on, new boyfriend, she said it was easier because they had no kids and she said most woman can move on faster, don't know about that. she knew he was having a mlc, they were married 12 yrs, she grieved for 6 months and well rest is history.
Reading the Amy thread has helped, especially the post where she wrote she really did not like her husband.
I'm hurting like most of you, this really sux, and not so much that i can't be an individual, i'm doing good at that, even if it is just sitting at the duplex, i'm not looking for company from the opposite sex if that makes sense.
I know the only chance she and I have and kids is if I let her go, I'm struggling inside myself with the letting go part or at least of the old marriage, but I sure am not pushing anything with wife.
I haven't done it yet, but I was moved to put my wedding ring back on, I took it off the night she popped me one, I took it off because if she saw me at the bball games, I didn't want her to see it as pressure, I want to wear it, I love her, but I also believe in our family and marriage.
Not asking you to make a decision for me only if you agree it would be considered pressure.
I have referred to our house as just the st address with her the past couple months, it's not a home anymore or our house, she uses the term My as in it's hers, it's my way of saying it's not a home and I'm sure as heck not going to be like her and the kids, atty's when they refer to it as being her house, Not to sound like a jerk, but it was a home, I paid for it and my stuff is still there.Just an odd thought.But I really haven't talked much last couple wks.
Back to other questions, The as if, no I talk, minimum contact, right now i prefer none, not because don't love her, just want her to get thru this thing.She's a smart one, so validating with I understand or I know your frustrated has only had my butt handed to me for "validating and playing mind games."So have some ideas on different way to validate if get opportunity.
