Pls help--confused and fearful

[newmama]

Daybyday,

I have read your post and was trying to think of what to respond to first!

I guess (((HUGS))) are first!!
Then about the parent alienation accusation...you were right on to let him know he is the one doing the alienating! I hope your L is all over that in case his L brings that up (alienation).
And you are letting your L know of all the crap your STBX is saying to your kids. I know you are.

He is just making this soooo much worse for himself it is insane!! I mean don't you want to wrap him up in a bow and say to OW "he's ALLLL YOOOOOOURS!" you KWIM...

Who knows if STBX and OW are getting married. Good job figuring out how to block OWXH!

So what is the latest with your kids going to counseling? I forgot what you said about that...would STBX go with them?

You can only avoid contributing to their dislike of their father but you can't "make" them act a certain way toward him. So don't pressure yourself with trying to control if they got along better then it will keep things from getting uglier.

I would think avoiding crying or getting angry about him in front of the kids would help and I bet you aren't doing that.

And it was good that you tried to encourage them to text their dad on V day although THE PARENT should reach out to the CHILDREN! He should have done it first!

(pet peeve of mine for the estranged parent to expect a 12 or 13 year old to make the first move...grrrrr!!!!)