NoCode.... I hate to say it, but I think you are shooting yourself in the foot. You may have the moral high ground, but that and 75 cents might get you a cup of coffee. When you push for things you can't win, and can't control, I think you risk losing in the areas where you are right, and that you can control. Your righteous anger is very apt to backfire.
You are not going to be able to control who your X allows the kids to see, or under what circumstances. It just isn't going to happen. Just as she can't control what you do when you have the kids. The more you fight it, the more you risk losing the time you do have with the kids. As long as you protect that time, and use it to its fullest, you are not going to be marginalized as the father of the kids.
The idea that you would ever get a full accounting of how she uses the CS money isn't going to happen, either. Do you have any basis for believing that she should have to provide that? The only way I could see her being compelled to provide that would be if there was serious reason to suspect actual neglect. By insisting on it, you could end up looking like the angry, bitter man, and that isn't going to help you at all.
You are headed down a path of driving yourself insane trying to control things that you can't control. I believe that you would be much better served to make sure you do the very best you can in what you can control.
