rr22's visualization is good. It is also possible that you like it so much that you have problems seeing value in your current H. You are angry with him for leaving, I understand and feel that me and others that consider leaving deserve it to some level - we didn't make our marriages a perfect dream either.
But it seems that time after time we are all reading others' posts about an affair, and you'd be doing that unless you've finished the marriage with a divorce. Expecting a divorce isn't getting one. You seemed to really want your marriage. Has that changed?
