I've hit a wall.. Now what?

[avermont]

Blownaway--

I think you directed this to Talia, not me, but I am taking it as it applies to me.

I KNOW there were many many failures on my part that lead to H just walking away. The grief, pain, and remorse over those failures are tearing me apart still. I take responsibility for them.

I want to be a better person. I am trying therapy and every damn thing I can think of to look at my faults and do something about them.

Some of the trouble is, I am still in so much pain that I can't focus on anything but the betrayal, the fear, the pain. I'm trying!

Talia's last post said "After 6 months of detaching, I don't care if he comes home or not..." And I am, at 7 months, still so far from that.

I thought I had made good progress, but the issue over selling the house to him has just knocked me flat back on my butt again.

Your post was a good hard hit of cold water to the face--keep posting any more words of matter of fact wisdom you have--I need them. I'm wallowing. Functioning, but wallowing.

I HAVE TO LET GO of the pain. Let go of outcomes. Let go of what HE does.

Isn't there a magic potion or spell for this somewhere?

Thanks!