I love being kind to her, but I'm very easily irritated by her because our world-view is so different.
Love is a verb and a choice. I understand your October pain and decision at the time...you were hurting. My wife recently was asked what true love was to her and she replied "Unconditional acceptance". If you read relationships books...it will cite that true love is when you accept and appreciate your spouses differences. So do you choose to embrace her differences....then understand her first...before you need to be understood?
I sat down one night very angry at my wife....and decided to understand her. For all the pain she was causing, she was just being her. For me to try and control how she behaved, act, responded, etc was controlling and only showing a conditional love....or I will only love you IF you do things my way or how I expect them to be. When you give up this false world of conditional love and love somebody for you they are....then you will not have this question anymore.
There is often reference to love like a parent/sibling...but think about that. You love some one as much as you love your closest family members. Unconditionally! Accept that and the world will be your playground to enjoy together and the only limits will be your mind and your wallet.
