I'm feeling like I'm in a self-made MLC and I need some help trying to figure out if I'm feeling love that might last or just deep caring.
I'm trying this on MLC because after 11 yrs of marriage, I decided that when my wife threated to leave that I would begin a D back in Oct. She did, so I did. Since then, I'm re-examining a lot. She's come back to say that she doesn't want a D, but she wants a H that isn't thinking about it.
That's a hard one, I've been thinking about it monthly for 11 yrs. My R didn't begin with love, it was essentially arranged. Unfortunately, I "met" her overseas in a culture that I am not part of, and me being a small town boy, we've clashed over many cultural expectations. Finding out that I had ADHD 5 yrs ago as an adult just makes my current "MLC" a little rougher, because I can now see what I thought was passion in M as it was - impulsivity and lack of attention.
So...the question.
I love being kind to her, but I'm very easily irritated by her because our world-view is so different. So I'm trying to figure out if I actually love her, or the 'idea' of being married to her.
What makes you think you love your spouse? What do you feel? When your love was still love, but lesser, was it like you love your sister/brother, or more?
