Things That Matter

[ClingingToHope]

Wow. That's tough. It's something I guess I'll face at some point.

Here's my story, bear with me.

I was 12 when my parents finally divorced. I never really thought of it much until lately, but my mom went a little batty after the D.

She was living with a guy by the time she got D. He was a nice man who loved to fish. I hated to fish and he dragged me and my sister with him all the time.

That didn't last.

Then she got married again to a very nice man who was a newspaper writer. That's what I do today so obviously he had some influence.

That marriage lasted maybe four years. I mean he was gone by the time I left for college. We still see each other from time to time. He's a county employee now.

Then she was going to get married again to another guy -- but something happened with my sister -- and that scuttled that.

Then she started dating this real nice guy while I was in college and she somewhat stayed with him most of the rest of her life.

In her final year she met a guy over the phone, he was the telephone computer repair man. She was smitten, dumped her boyfriend of five years, flew down to Kansas City and married the guy.

When she died of an aneurysm shortly after that schmuck received 50 percent of her estate and my sister and I had to split the rest. They were married three months.

Even though I got along with all but the last one, I never for a moment considered any of these guys my father. I didn't throw it in their face, but to me these were my mom's husbands.

The second husband tried a little bit to work himself into the role, but it never took. You only have one dad.

So I guess I'm saying she may try to replace you but she CAN'T replace you and her efforts will only hurt HER in the end. You must not overreact, that's when it could hurt you.