How is an online affair different?

[blownaway65]

Kel, just to add to what Puppy said

but this is what I NEED, in order to feel safe in the marriage again, and whatever you decide will affect what I decide to do."

take note of the last 5 words - what I decide to do.

You MUST be fully committed to enforcing whatever it that you decide to do. If you don't H will see it as weakness on your part and won't even think about abiding by your non-negotiable list. Why would he, he'd be getting the best of both worlds.