My UFO (unbelievably fabulous observations)

[hoosiermama]

If he had died...
I would still have our friends, I would still have my family. People would have circled closer and not pushed me away. I would have support and some closure, and I wouldn't worry that my daughter is being forced into a relationship with a woman she knows was involved in destroying her family. I might have a tiny bit of financial support from xH's wealthy brothers, who might have funded her choir or some projects (that their children did at her age). I would have grief, but I would have known there was love instead of becoming a non-entity and being told he never loved me.

It would have been better if he HAD died.

Practically speaking, yeah--I'd probably be in a similar situation financially. However, I think I'd have more support with practical stuff, helping out D14, that kind of thing; I'm very isolated now, even almost 2 years out. I might still have to find a job with highly inconvenient hours, true. But I'd be doing that and knowing D14 was safe somewhere she might feel comfortable and not with her father and the girlfriend she can't stand.