While this sounds like an excuse I can say in my experience it is close to impossible to DB or do anything "good" while you are working through a difficult divorce. And Antlers, it sounds like the LEGAL side of your divorce is tough. I can relate as mine was as well.
What people seem to forget (maybe not forget but not "get" until they are living it) when the legal side of divorce starts there are lots of "cooks in the kitchen". You have 2 spouses, attnys that are both whispering "do this, do that", a REALLY screwed up legal system, judges and add in custody issues and an affair and its enough to send anybody over the edge.
It's not that you don't want to be loving and compassionate or be *something* but when one attny is saying "watch what you say" and you have another attny saying "don't do this, do that" it all gets *very* complicated.
I don't know about you but all the court stuff really frightened me. I have never been in trouble in my life! And I wasn't in "trouble" but for me it was *very* scary to see my name on legal documents and have to go to court. And IMO my attny was AWESOME! The entire thing just really twists your mind around.
Then I started to wonder if my H was being nice because of the legal stuff or not and everything you think is normal isn't. It's all just f'ing crazy.
And it's fine for people to say "take a step back or take your time" but sometimes the law does not allow for that. The pressure I felt was insane. Just thinking about it all makes my chest tight.
I can't say either way what you should be doing next but I just wanted to let you know I do understand what a difficult position you are in.
