Funny you should say some of the things you said - Here is what I posted back to Gardener this morning...
Originally Posted By: Serenity13
(((Gardener)))
Not a "dressing down" my friend (yes I saw that lol) -
Just an enlightment into how I see it looking through my eyes.
By me sharing my experience with the disease, I can also let others know that just because we carry this within, doesn't make us any different then you...
Now there are others who have it and use it as an excuse for bad behaviors...
I don't buy into that...
I have done some really crappy things when I was flying high on mania however the bottom line is I am responsible for my actions not my disease...
Regardless of how "off" my emotions are, at the end of the day, I have to hold some amount of accountability for whatever havoc my mania has caused.
Because I choose to go at it without meds, I screwed up...
I know that now...I know how bad I was and today I own that...
Today I take my meds, I watch what I eat, I am finally getting some amazing sleep thanks to a wonderful friend, I see my Dr. every 6 weeks and have my meds adjusted accordingly, I get out and get fresh air each and every day, I take care of myself emotionally as well as spiritually...
Am I cured?
No and I probably never will be able to live my life without some type of medication - The difference is now I accept it...
Even medicated, I still have very bad days at times...
I still think sometimes, everyone would be better off without me in their life, I still have days where I would rather "cut" myself then deal with anymore pain and when I do get that low, instead of doing it, I now look up, look within and keep moving forward.
(((Hugs)))
(((Hugs)))
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
