You seem to really have some feelings that need sorting out about the financial dependence you had on your H.
If you worked full time and so did your H chances are you would need help of some sort w/your children. Be it daycare, a babysitter or nanny. Or, you and your H would have to work opposite hours which can be equally as difficult. I have many friends that stopped working as after they paid childcare expenses they really were not bringing in much income at all. My cousin's wife figured she was making 117.00 per month after she paid for daycare. Working 40 hours per week only to bring home 117.00 per month really is not reasonable.
So, yes, your H may have supported you financially but had you both worked a big chunk of income would have gone to childcare of some sort.
Your H may never see it that way and that is fine but it is reality. Childcare (at least in the US) is very expensive. In your case you would have two very young children needing full time care while you and your H worked. It can really add up.
