Separating an addict (a cheating spouse) from the source of their addiction (OM/OW) is only a necessary STEP. It is not an END, but an immediate MEANS toward an end.
You can dump the alcohol down the drain of the alcoholic, or take the matches and kerosene away from a pyromaniac. And yes, you MUST do those things. But no, you haven't solved the complete problem at that point, only set out upon a necessary first of many steps.
I will say this, though, in defense of speaking only for MYSELF. I have often skipped my lunch, given out my FB contact info, even PERSONAL contact info (against the board's rules), in order to "hold the hand" of the newly bombed who is trying to confront and expose. I have given STEP-BY-STEP INSTRUCTIONS, and implored them NOT to do anything until they've had time to study them, talk to us about it, and have us walk them through it.
And then most of them just do what they want to do anyway. (I won't name any names, but these people know who they are). With the proper help, it's NOT that complicated to do, and it CAN easily be done, IF you follow the steps and the advice. Some are either too stubborn, too afraid, or just too unwilling to do so.
