#2: WAH separated from us & I'm on the DBing path

[flowmom]

BTW, I've been pretty hand-off with parenting. I've made it clear to the kids that I'm not going to rescue them from time with him. I've encouraged them to express their wishes to him in appropriate ways. This morning I did leave the house and I have no idea how the morning went.

Yes, taking on the parental/caretaking role is a bit of a trap in this situation. This morning he was making comments that seemed like he was wanting me to help him with dealing with the kids. Rather than jump in with advice, I asked him if he was asking for my input (trying to be respectful). He said yes, and I gave him a suggestion of how to deal with them (they were in rough shape because he didn't see them at all yesterday then he was 2 hours late this morning). I see that as being cooperative so I think that's OK. I'm getting better at reminding myself that the individual moments of my sitch aren't going to scar the kids for life, and the bad stuff of what's going on is largely out of my control (micromanaging or trying to control won't really improve their experience).

H is GAL, but it really doesn't look like he's taking care of himself at all. He has sleep issues and he is still not getting enough sleep, which has been a longstanding day to day problem in our M (which he probably blames on me because of our financial dependence on him).

Thanks for all the replies. It means a lot to me when people visit my thread.