The other thing you can give him when he tries to talk now is :
I am not interested in discussing that while you are in contact with that woman.
EVEN M talk... tell him you are open to discussion when he commits to not contacting her...
HE WILL need to hear this from your friend... advising him that she's NOT making reconcilliation any easier... His insistence on maintaining this friendship is quite incriminating to be honest...
If he wanted to reconcile and was not having an affair with her, he would have given her up right away.
He's clearly wanting to get back together... so the only inference we can soundly make is that he's in EA, if not PA... I can't find another explanation as to he wouldn't give her up asap.
He pretty much incriminated himself there with his choices... Right there and then he could have said "Done, she's gone... If that's all it takes..."
He's holding on yet... but you are doing a lot of damage here to his affair... keep it up
A very cool thing here though is the damage this exposure has done... whomever wrote the letter did a huge number on them... they are clearly thrown off kilter by this letter... their secret is now exposed to a degree...
Now imagine how much MORE damage this affair would have if EVERYONE knew...?
I think you can see how powerful exposure is... This letter only went to ONE PERSON... imagine exposing everywhere?
This affair would end pretty quickly then I think...
The saftey zone is essential to NC with husband... as yours clearly wants to keep pestering you while he's having his affair... you really need that safety zone before you shut him out... so see if you can get that ready.. I honeslty dont think you will need that place very long... this affair sounds like its already falling apart at the seams...
Allen A, I forgot to mention, that the next day he informed that the OWH parents also got the letter. So her family has now been told.
The thing that makes me crazy right now, is how the OW and my H are convinced that it was me that sent the letter. I was tempted to do something like that, however I never did.
Together 16 years Married 12 years Me 36 H 34 D9 & S6 Separated 12/3/09 Confirmed A 1/25/10 Exposed A 1/26/10 H hired L, but not filed yet 1/27/10
Its all good... the exposure does not have to come from you... The cats out of the bag now... YOU just need to get your distance right now from your H until the storm clears... a HUGE fallout is coming now and you don't want to be his punching bag for that... he IS setting you up to be that though... so my advice is to get to your safety zone and stay there...
There's going to be a LOT of FINGERPOINTING going on over there and detective work is now moving in the OTHER DIRECTION... THEY want to know who "told on them"... instead of them keeping secrets, now someone ELSE is keeping a secret from THEM... and THEY ironically... don't LIKE that... boo hoo
They will be looking for someone to BLAME.. you need to get OUT of there... you just saw a small taste of it so far...
